Super Sonic

I, like a majority of gamers I imagine, vastly preferred the original Sonic the Hedgehog platform games to the newfangled 3D ones. There are many reasons for this. As a natural born lummox, I crave simplicity in my video games. "That button jumps, these buttons run"are really the only instructions required in a well written manual as far as I am concerned. I don't much care for cut scenes in my games either. They remove you from the action. And one thing I especially dislike about the newer games, however, is the treatment of Super Sonic.

These days an appearance by Super Sonic is pretty much mandated by the game's various narratives. He is built into the plot that way, making using him less rewarding. Back in my day Super Sonic was unbeatable. Even bosses did zero damage to him so long as loyal players kept him supplied with sweet, sweet rings. This invulnerability didn't come easy though. You had to collect all the powerful Chaos Emeralds to unlock this amazing strength. There was no narrative to guide you to all the emeralds either. You had to collect fifty rings on your own time, then for some reason jump though a giant ring and complete the bonus stage. Then you had to do it again six more times. It was difficult to do without beating the game first!

This stands in stark contrast to Superman, who did nothing to earn his amazing powers except be born on another planet. That lazy milksop! Sonic the Hedgehog has to jump through hoops (er...rings) to gain his invincibility and insane speeds! Infuriating!

However, I've never been one to take non-corporeal factors like grit and determination into account in these assessments. So let's examine the facts. Fact: Super Sonic is utterly invincible. Fact: Even the mightiest of Dr. Robotnik's machines is destroyed at the merest tough of Super Sonic's light-infused quills. Fact: Super Sonic has been shown (depending on the game/media) to be faster than any speeding bullet, and occasionally even capable of flight. How could Superman possibly harm something too fast to be touched? And what would he do to this invincible furry juggernaut even if he weren't so, so slow in comparison?

He never had yellow bird lackeys though, that was a Super Tails thing.

Next Week: Superman?!?!