Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Freddy Krueger*


For a split second I debated putting Dr. Destiny on this list. Then I figured if I wanted to put a character on this list with power over dreams, I would put the one that wasn't the stupidest character ever created. Dr. Destiny sucks. His name is terrible and his costume in generic. Oooh! A skull face! Eat a dick Dr. Destiny. Even his episode in the Justice League cartoon was awful, and that's hard to do.

Moving on, notice that the title of this entry is Freddy Krueger with an asterisk. Next the that asterisk will read "if Freddy Krueger can pull his head out of his ass for five minutes and just fucking kill someone already," which isn't to say that Freddy Krueger isn't powerful, or that he isn't good at killing. All I'm trying to say is that I like to give credit where credit is due, and I would never say that Superman is incapable of something that a dozen teenage girls have done before him. Freddy Krueger is pretty much invincible in the dream world, provided he doesn't make physical contact with the person he is in the process of killing, which gives them the opportunity to wake up, pull him into the real world, and kick his ass like Jason Voorhees did. So Freddy Krueger does have an exploitable weakness.

However, by absolutely no means does Freddy need to make physical contact with anyone to harm them. He once turned a girl into a roach, trapped her inside a giant roach motel, and just crushed the shit out of it. Didn't come into physical contact with her at all. True, that was one of the lamer deaths in the series, but the point remains valid. Freddy never has to manifest himself anywhere near Supes. He could just trap him in some magically inescapable death trap. Or just cut the crap and kill him. Superman falls asleep. Freddy shows up and kills him from a safe distance. Freddy's reality warping dream powers keep Superman from busting out the kryptonian speed, and Freddy just strecthes out a long sharp dream claw and shanks Superman. Fight over. If Freddy doesn't french it up with fancy scare tactics or elaborate dream sequences it would be a very easy fight for him.

In summation, as long as Freddy didn't try to do anything too cute this would be a very easy fight, but I said the same thing before Freddy Vs. Jason as well though and we all know how that turned out.

Next Week: Tetsuo Shima

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