Unicron

See that planet in the picture? No, not the little one. The little one is Lithone. Lithone sucks. I mean the big one. That big planet? The one giving Lithone the ol' stink eye? That is Unicron. That big ass planet is a mother fucking Transformer. The biggest fucking Transformer ever. Unicron eats planet. Not in a lame ass "converts them to energy and then feeds on the energy" way. In a literal chew-their-asses-up-and-swallow way.

Unicron is basically the Transformer devil. Big as shit and hellbent on the destruction of Cybertron, Unicron drifts throught he galaxy and eats everything in his path. He does have a robot form, and when he chooses to don it he is armed to the teeth with all manner of nasty weapons. Not that he needs them. He is the size of a planet! A fucking planet! Superman used to be able to push planets around (pre-crisis, it was stupid) but not planets capable of self-propulsion. Also, not planets that could eat him.

Seriously, what would Superman do to a robot the size of a planet? Unicron has to have redundancy upon redundancy built into his systems, more likely than not just to take up the massive amounts of space one would have in a robot the size of a planet. He also has off the wall defenses inside his body. But mostly he's the size of a planet! Planets are huge! And I don't like to mention it, but Unicron can only be destroyed by the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. Which Superman doesn't have, and (as a non-Autobot Leader) couldn't open if he did.

The only problem facing Unicron in this bout is the fact that Superman is probably too small for him to see. Though he can see regular sized Transformers, which are comparably small. He probably has some pretty decent vision, as he can see events occurring in Autobot City (earth) from deep space. Unicron must possess some evil form of omnipresence or omniscience. Unicron knows things. Evil things.

I like to imagine a scenario in which Unicron rebuilds Metallo into a more menacing robot. Possibly Brainiac as well. Maybe Lex Luthor.

Next Week: Super Sonic